The Title
Barfutura
i made a film poster about my life
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The amount of times I could have been that white girl in the horror movie could honestly be a movie in itself and it’s honestly a waste that my entire life isn’t constantly recorded on film because it would be HILARIOUS
1. That one time I decided to see what was past the old gate in the woods, but when got there it had been smashed in half and there was a decapitated sheep head with no skin just off the trail, so instead I just turned around and went home.
2. That time some friends and I went camping and we found a pile of bones wrapped in a garbage bag buried under a log, but the adult supervisor told us it was nothing, so we just put it back and didn’t talk about it again.
3. The time I was getting chased through the woods at night and I realized “wait it’s dark as fuck” so I just held still until the guy gave up and left.
4. The time this dude said he was in love with me and so he was going to cut my head off and dump my body in a lake, so I told him to grow the hell up, but then he got caught stealing girl’s underwear a day later and I never saw him again
5. That one time in college where I was taking a shortcut on my home at night and a car followed me into a dark alley, so I stared directly into the driver’s side of the window and walked towards it to psych them out
6. The night I was out on a walk and this old guy told me he’d locked his keys in his truck and that he needed someone my size to crawl in through the back window for him, so I told him “you know that sounds super suspicious right” and told him where to find a pay phone for a tow truck instead
7. The one time this random guy on the street said he was in love with me and so he was going to follow me home on my bus, so I clapped him on the shoulder and told him that if he got that close to my bus then I was going to throw him under the wheels, but then this really nice homeless man from Nigeria told the guy to fuck off and then checked to make sure he didn’t follow me onboard
8. That big cat with yellow eyes who I found in a well and brought home who used to put rotting meat in my closet and wake me up by chewing on my face, until I put him back outside and never saw him again.
9. My one cousin who used to come over for the summer who kept calling me ‘piñata’ and hitting me with sticks, until he went back home and was sent to juvie cause he finally got caught torturing animals
10. The time I got lost on the way to a meeting and wound up at a circus tent instead, and got followed by a full-out clown for three vacant street blocks
11. The pet hamster I had when I was seven who would scream all night and eventually escaped by ripping a bar out of its cage and wiggling through the hole. My mom caught it and put it back but it lived another year and a half until one night the screaming just stopped
12. The time I was whistling in the woods and something started whistling back, so I went home
13. That one night at summer camp where a group of girls got together to play ‘bloody mary’ in the lavatory and invited me to come with them so I said “no thanks” and stayed with the camp councillors and drank soup instead.
14. The old abandoned house I just moved into with the door that leads into a big empty room full of dirt and empty cooking pots that I just sort of… locked up forever and never go near
15. Once when I was at an ihop I saw a coffee mug do a full 360º spin with nobody touching it, so I said ‘that was neat’ and never ate there again
16. The time I took a photo of a big old raven sitting on the crucifix on top of the old town church cause it was the most goth thing I’d ever seen, right? But then it swooped down towards me, so I apologized immediately for being rude, and I felt a little silly for a while but the car that hit me on the way home didn’t even leave a bruise so idk be nice to birds
The Adventures of Prince Achmen.
1926. German.
The oldest surviving animated film in history.
Nonono, you don’t understand how AWESOME this movie is
because it’s not done by a big production firm, or someone with a name as big as Walt Disney, no
the writer and “mind” behind this film was a WOMAN
yes, my dear tumblr peeps, the very first trick animator in the world was a young German woman who had an idea, and enough friends and time to make a feature-length animated film. And it took her three years
because the way this movie (and some shorter works she actually did before Die Abenteuer des Prinzen Achmed) are done is really, really complex. You see those leaves, and the hair of the figures? Yes.
That’s hand-cut paper.
Lotte Reiniger - that’s her name, my friends - always loved the art beind the Chinese shadow puppetry, and after she heard a lecture by Paul Wegener (famous vor the early movies Der Golem and Der Student von Prag) about the possibilites of animated movies, she wanted to combine these two things.
And guys, how she combined it…
Most of the puppets and scenerey she made all by herself. Her friends set up a special table that was lighted from underneath, and in the later movies she would even change the colours of the background mid-scene to change the atmosphere. Above it was a camera, shooting photos of the scenes that she moved milimetre for milimetre for those 16 pictures per second she needed for her movie.
Which makes Die Abenteuer von Prinz Achmed not only the first animated feature-length movie, but also the first stop-motion movie.
How to Train Your Dragon 3 speculation, with How to Train Your Dragon 2 spoilers:
THIS. That’s what I’ve been thinking. I don’t think they would have brought it up if it’s not going to come into play somehow in the third movie.
Although the second film didn’t end on a cliffhanger, it’s clearly set up for a third film, and that’s my main reason why. Additionally,
how long must we wait for a lesbian disney princess
or what about a prince who throughout the entire movie you think he’s going to be the love interest but in the end it turns out he’s gay
Don’t sit around complaining that a storyline hasn’t been done by Disney when there are other animated film companies that have been there, done that.
I took my little brother (who falls on the autism spectrum) to see Guardians of the Galaxy and after this scene he lit up like a Christmas tree and screamed “He’s like me! He can’t do metaphors!” And for the rest of the film my brother stared at Drax in a state of rapture.
So for the last 6 days I have heard my brother repeatedly quote all of the Drax lines from the movie verbatim (one of his talents), begin studying vocabulary test words, and tell everyone he knows that people with autism can also be superheroes.
Now I am not saying that Drax the Destroyer is, or was ever, intended to be autistic. All I am saying is that it warmed my heart to see my brother have an opportunity to identify himself with a character known for his strength, badassness, and honor. And that is pretty damn awesome.
So while I adored Guardians of the Galaxy as a great fun loving film with cool characters I can do nothing but thank Marvel Studios and Dave Bautista for finally bringing a superhero to the screen that my little brother can relate to.
For real though
Ok guys I need to talk about this movie.
The Breakfast Club came out in 1985 and to this day is, in my opinion, one of the greatest damn movies ever to barely even have a script.
During the famous “dance” scene, Molly Ringwald, who played the “princess” Claire, was supposed to a small little dance by herself, but she was shy so all of them did some dancing together, creating one of the most famous film scene’s to date. It was improvised.
During the scene in the film where the characters sat down and told why they were their, there was NO SCRIPT. John Huges told the cast to sit there and improvise why they thought their characters were there, creating that heart wrenching scene everyone could relate to.
EVERYONE can relate to this movie and thats the best damn thing.
On March 24, 1984, five students entered a detention room thinking it was just another Saturday. Before the day was over, they broke the rules, bared their souls, and touched each other in a way they never dreamed possible.
EVERYONE IN THE WORLD NEEDS TO SEE THE BREAKFAST CLUB.
THIS MOVIE IS THE FUCKING ALL TIME BEST
we can do it
WhooaaaaAAAA
PEOPLE help make an animated film of The Goon! David Fincher, director of The Social Network and Fight Club is involved!!
Have to log in to spread the word on this—we’re currently at 61 hours left, $366,152 pledged! I think we could actually make the cutoff if we push just a little harder!
Mobsters! Monsters! Zombies! Evil robots! Profanity! Extreme and gratuitous violence! Everything you ever wanted in an animated film and never got all in one place!
Just look at all of this quality all over the damn place!
Please pitch in or reblog!!
If I introduce a movie to you, and we watch it together, I’ll be spending at least 99.9% of the time watching you to make sure you are responding correctly to the film.